Twitter Haiku
For everyone who follows me on Twitter, every so often when inspiration strikes, I tweet a completely innocent haiku. Now granted, I am not a master of the art, but I do believe all short forms of poetry are best wen they are just a little naughty. Every one of my haiku can be interpreted completely innocently, but what’s the fun in that?
So here is the official collection of Jess Granger’s Twitter Haiku.
Hockey
Slide into me hard,
Pounding me against the boards.
I will reach the crease.
Puppets
Come play with me now.
Slide your fingers inside me.
I move at your whim.
Gas Station
I push it inside,
Hold tightly while it pumps.
Flow until I’m full.
Boxes
Slowly you open.
My hands reach to feel inside.
What wonders await?
Zombies
My mouth on your head,
I suck out your sweet essence.
I will leave you drained.
Chocolate Filled Suckers
With patience I lick.
I will taste your sweet center;
Resist urge to bite.
Squirt Guns
We play together,
Domination the one goal.
I will make you wet.
Tomato
Red skin, supple, smooth,
Juices flow into my mouth.
Your taste is earthy.
Weeds
You grow thick and full.
I have to pull you out now.
My hands strain on stalk.
Soap
Slide over my skin.
Make me slippery and wet.
I am so dirty.
Chocolate Turtle Cheesecake
Oh, how you tempt me.
Kiss my lips with sweet sugar.
I long for your taste.
Puppy
Your writhing body
Can’t contain your excitement.
Lick me all over.
Vacuum
Slide across the floor.
Only you can suck it all.
You are full of filth.
Building a Snowman
Firmly pat big balls.
I must make you stand erect.
Put grin on your face.
New Year’s Eve Noisemakers
I will blow it hard,
Wake the neighbors with our noise.
Banging things is fun.
Roasted Turkey
You need to be stuffed.
I’ll get you hot for hours.
I’m sated, sleepy.
Olympic edition: Moguls
Slide over the mounds.
Maintain your pumping rhythm.
It will make you soar.
Olympic edition: Biathlon
Surge forward quickly.
Take advantage of the glide.
Deftly hit your mark.
Olympic edition: Short Track Speed Skating
Rock hard thighs pumping,
Slide your hands along the curves.
You go down; I cry.
Toasters:
Sinking in the slit,
Red hot heat encompassing,
I wait for the pop.
Pi:
Constant, unending.
I know it’s irrational.
You go on and on.
Hat:
Place me on your head.
Slide me over dirty hair.
You need protection.
Vestibule:
Open up for me.
I need to come inside you.
Take care of business.
Crayons:
I inhale your scent.
Take you firmly in my hand.
Colors blind my eyes.
Cartouche:
Pressed into the wall.
You completely surround it.
Make me say your name.
Beer:
My lips touch sweet head,
Longing for the bitter taste.
Slide down my hot throat.